Wife-Carrying: The Only Thing That I Know Comes From Finland
As you guessed it, I am doing another weird sport today! Whoo! So excited. I cannot keep acting excited. It is almost the end of the semester, so you, reading this, probably know how I feel. Alright, let’s talk about this sport so that we can get on with our lives.
Wife Carrying originated in Finland (as you could have guessed from the title). It is based around the legend of “Ronkainen the Robber” who supposedly stole women from other villages, carrying them on their backs to marry them or, you know, bad stuff. So as you can probably guess, since they carried the women on their backs, that is what happens in the sport of Wife Carrying. The first modern day event was held in Finland in 1992, foreign contestants were admitted in 1995, and the North American Championship started in 1999.
Now the strange part about this sport is that your partner does not have to be your legal spouse. It does not really make much sense, but whatever. No helmet is required in the North American Championship, but both teammates must where them at the World Championship. Two teams race against each other on the specially designed course. It continues like this in tournament style for the duration of the championship. If the guy drops his wife, they are penalized 5 seconds, wife must be carried the entire time (duh). You can be carried however you are most comfortable, which I am not sure why that is in the rulebook.
The course is about 275 yards long, with uneven ground. There are to dry obstacles and one water obstacle (try not to drown your wife). The specific design of the course varies from year to year. Would not want to make it too easy on everybody. IF you can train for the specific track, where is the fun in that? There is no fun. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Bear Grylls.
Other unspoken things should be considered when attempting these competitions. First off, make sure your little stick arms can carry your wife, these competitions are not responsible for any divorces. Second, probably do not wear makeup. It just would not make sense, girls. Your husband is carrying you trhough the water obstacle and accidentally drops you. Then you come up looking like Pennywise’s long lost sister. Use common sense when tackling such an extreme sport. Seriously, the only thing that could compare to this is probably The Amazing Race. Except you are not going around the world for days. And It only lasts about 5 minutes. And you do not win money. The guy wins a ton of beer, but no money. Definitely worth it, though.
What a great marriage strengthener, am I right? So much trust is required for this, although if you drop your wife, you may be screwed. Plus, you will lose all of that beer. I am not sure which would be more important.
